Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Ready, Set...DECEMBER!


Well, it looks like we will be heading to Chattanooga for IVF in December. I am so excited we will be under the care of Dr. Murray at TRM in Chattanooga, TN http://www.trmbaby.com/welcome/rink_murray.shtml
I LOVE that he has more of a boutique type practice and doesn't do a ton of IVF's a month, so we will get the attention needed to have the perfect cycle!

My STIMS will start on December 2nd and we will be in Chattanooga about 8ish days after for the last few days of monitoring before retrieval. We are aiming for a 5 day transfer, so we will stay in Chattanooga in between retrieval and transfer, just in case we only get to a 3 day. I am sad because I am missing Bob Seger on the 10th in memphis. Yes, I love my old school classic rock and Bob is one of my favs!

I am such a homebody and love to be at home, so I think this will be the hardest part for me. BUT, my husband came up with a brilliant idea. getting on VRBO.com (vacation rentals by owner) to look for a house to rent.

1. It would be cheaper than a hotel
2. We could bring our dogs (who I have to have around and miss them terribly when we travel) and not have to pay a pet sitter :)
3. We would have a full size kitchen to cook, so all meals wouldn't be take out, etc. and
4. we will avoid killing each other in a tiny hotel room :)!!!!!!!!!!

I love this idea, so I have been busy trying to find the perfect place to settle in for the week we are there. trying to negotiate prices since I am sure the 2nd week of December isn't a heavy travel week for most.
I told brian I want to put some Christmas decorations up since I will be missing ours from home during my favorite time of year!!!!

In early November I am going to have an endometrial biopsy (first time to have one) to make sure the lining of my uterus can support a pregnancy. here is more about the procedure:
An endometrial biopsy is a way for your doctor to take a small sample of the lining of the uterus (endometrium ). The sample is looked at under a microscope for abnormal cells. An endometrial biopsy helps your doctor find problems in the endometrium. It also lets your doctor check to see if your body's hormone levels that affect the endometrium are in balance.

Sounds fun, right? My uterus probably really hates me. But I guess I am not a big fan of mine since it won't do what I want it to!!! haha

Then we will go to Chattanooga in late November for injection training and a trial transfer.

Until then- lots of accupuncture, supplements, positive thoughts and preparing my body for IVF #2!

Hopefully some of my blogger friends will be stimming around the same time.

Counting down the days until DECEMBER!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Thank you Brian-

I started looking back at all of my old pictures a few days ago and just smiled at all the wonderful times Brian and I have had. I really am the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him and decided to make a montage of pics with our great memories for him! I couldn't imagine going through the hard infertility world with anyone else! You are the best brian!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

What IF?

I really loved this video- she did a great job expressing the thoughts and feelings of people struggling with infertility. And the "IF" standing for infertility really hit home...
One out of 8 couples is affected with infertility.
I'm not giving up this fight. Because there would always be the "what IF's" every day, for the rest of my life.
We will beat infertility!

http://vimeo.com/keikozoll/whatif

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

My animal rescue story...

Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together, when everyone else would understand if you fell apart... that's true strength." ~Author Unknown



I love this quote.

A huge passion of mine is animal rescue- particularly dog rescue. The shelters in this area are deplorable and the euthanasia rate is sickening and unacceptable. I do all that I can to help dogs in need to find a safe place and have rescued over 100 this year.

I can't tell you how many times this has entered my head with all the dog rescue work I do.
I have rescued a ton of dogs and it's not easy. The pain, heartache and stress of trying to network, find fosters, arrange transportation etc. is a true challenge. It's easy to give up, but who else do they have?

Then you look at the stories of these precious souls getting their second chance at life and every bit of heartache that comes with the territory is worth it. And it inspires you to help the next dog.

here are a few babies that inspire me every day. They had nothing until I came into their lives and gave me the ability to pave the way to a new and much better life ahead. Many of these sweet dogs have found refuge up North thanks to some incredible rescue groups!!!!!



Hope- The most pitiful rescue I have had yet. she was severely abused and wouldn't come near anyone for days. She made a ton of progress, and is still coming around slowly.i hate to think of the pain she endure her first few weeks of life that has scarred this girl forever. My sweet father adopted her and patiently works with her every day to help her understand what the good life is :)


George Yoakum. He was from a horrible shelter in Abbyville Louisiana. I rescued him and fostered him until August. I found a great family who adopted him and he is living in Memphis! He had so much personality and made me laugh every day.


Sophie was at the jackson Rabies Control one hour from Memphis. she was scheduled for euthanization the day we pulled her. She has gone to MAss. to live with my friend Tracy's sister and is super spoiled! I love my Sophie updates :) This girl could JUMP. We had our window in the office open in the Spring and before I knew it she was leaping out the window. She truly is a small dog trapped in a big dog's body- loves to swim and play catch.


Sweet rosie. this sweet girl had my heart. She was so timid and shy- such a sweet and gentle dog. She had been in a terrible dog fight and had extensive surgery- tubes in throat, etc. She was adopted to a wonderful family here in memphis!


This is Lucy. I rescued her 1 hour before she was scheduled for death in Bolivar, TN at the worst shelter I have ever seen. her "owners" dropped her off and didn't care one bit she was going to be put to sleep. She was so sweet and thankful and just smiled even though she had no teeth! She went to a wonderful rescue group in NJ and has been adopted!


Another of sweet George. I had a hard time letting this little guy go...


Penny Lane was pulled from the Bolivar shelter too hours before being put to sleep. My sister fostered her and she was adopted through a wonderful rescue group here in memphis!


These baby labs were living outside and were so tiny! They were all adopted in memphis!


This is sweet Piper. A dog who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Another dog attacked her so she stood up for herself (wouldn't you???) and bit the dog who bit her. the owner immediately took her to the vet to be euthanized. Luckily I was called and told this dog was so sweet and highly adoptable. Idiot owner. She is now living with an older couple in a small town outside of memphis and super spoiled!



This bunch was dropped off at the shelter in Bolivar to be killed. They were so little and precious! 2 were adopted in Memphis (thanks kelly and ruth!) and the rest went to Chicago to a fabulous rescue group!


This is Aubie- now adopted by my friend megan's mother. This little baby was at the horrific Abbyville, LA shelter- gas chamber shelter!
"

Sweet daisy Mae also came from Abbyville. she was adopted by my friend megan after she fostered and fell in love!



This is AJ- one of my first rescues. I found this guy on the side of the road easting trash in a rural town while working in my territory. he was incredibly skinny and struggling to stay alive. he traveled the 2 hours back to memphis with me (asleep in my lap the whole way) and was adopted by my friend Traci. he is beautiful and so loved!



Lacey was so precious! She headed up North and was adopted to a great family!


Princess Flower- she was also known as "Wags" at the shelter because she wags her tail in a complete circle. well, this little one is STILL here at our house and has been since February. I have fallen in love with this precious baby and am still convincing Brian we need her forever! I can't say enough wonderful things about this precious little girl. I adore her!



I pulled this sweet chi girl from Bolivar shelter just moments before being put to sleep. She was at our house 2 hours before her great rescue group that agreed to take her came to pick her up. I would have to say she loved being at the shelter and having a lap to sit on! Sweet little girl!


Mo, Tutti and Lucy leaving for transport to NJ!!!!!!!


Jack was rescued by me minutes before the shelter closed for euthanizai=tion. I am talking down to the minute! He headed to a rescue group up North :)

sampson came to the shelter with Jack. he was a senior and so sweet. My friend stacy fostered him and the minute he got to her house he jumped in the pool! he was so excited to be out of the shelter. He went to the rescue in NY as well and was adopted by the president of their humane society!

The odds were stacked against Laurs. Black dog and pit bull mix. He didn't have a chance. When I walked into the shelter I immediately wanted to give this guy a chance. I called my friend Trent who agreed to help me with this sweet boy. he named him Laurs (after me :) ) and he is still living with Trent a block away loving life. I will never forget pulling this sweet boy and the smile on his face on our ride home. He wanted to have his hand touching me the whole hour ride home!

and one more of Hope- Made my heart melt to see Brian working so hard to help her get comfortable!!!!

This is chloe. this girl was covered in fleas and ticks and was pitiful! she stayed with us a couple of months and I adored her. I found a wonderful family who has moved outside of memphis that loves this sweet girl who is so big now!


This sweet girl was rescued from Bolivar shelter on her final day and fostered by my friend Dabney. her little girl Tatum named her Tutti. Hilarious! She was adopted up North in NJ!

A RESCUE POEM

Once I was a lonely dog, just looking for a home.
I had no place to go, no one to call my own.
I wandered up and down the streets, in rain in heat and snow.
I ate whatever I could find, I was always on the go.

My skin would itch, my feet were sore, my body ached with pain.
And no one stopped to give a pat or a gently say my name.
I never saw a loving glance, I was always on the run.
For people thought that hurting me was really lots of fun.

And then one day I heard a voice so gentle, kind and sweet,
and arms so soft reached down to me and took me off my feet.“
No one again will hurt you,” was whispered in my ear.
“You’ll have a home to call your own where you will know no fear.“

You will be dry, you will be warm, you’ll have enough to eat.
And rest assured that when you sleep, your dreams will all be sweet.”
I was afraid I must admit, I’ve lived so long in fear.
I can’t remember when I let a human come so near.

And as she tended to my wounds and bathed and brushed my fur,
she told me about the rescue group and what it meant to her.
She said, “We are a circle, a line that never ends.
And in the center there is you, protected by new friends.“

And all around you are the ones that check the pounds,
and those that share their home after you’ve been found.“
And all the other folk are searching near and far
to find the perfect home for you, where you can be a star.”

She said, “There is a family, that’s waiting patiently,
and pretty soon we’ll find them, just you wait and see.“
And then they’ll join our circle they’ll help to make it grow,
so there’ll be room for more like you, who have no place to go.”

I waited very patiently, the days they came and went.
Today’s the day I thought, my family will be sent.
Then just when I began to think it wasn’t meant to be,
there were people standing there just gazing down at me.

I knew them in a heart beat, I could tell they felt it too.
They said, “We have been waiting for a special dog like you.”
Now every night I say a prayer to all the gods that be.
“Thank you for the life I live and all you’ve given me.“

But most of all protect the dogs in the pound and on the street.
And send a Rescue Person to lift them off their feet.”

Arlene Pace September 18, 1998

why can't we have that?

I have hit a wall. the wall that many people struggling with infertility often bang their head against!

I think this time of year is especially hard. Fall festivals, people out strolling babies in the nice weather more than usual, decorating for Halloween, etc. Everything is geared towards family and children. Why can't we have a double stroller filled with little ones? Why does this have to be so hard? It seems like everyone I know just gets pregnant when they even look at their husband. I'm jealous.

I have been having one of those nights where I feel hopeless and not able to understand why this has to be so hard for us. I am worried about our upcoming IVF cycle in December and have started the "What-if's?" I am thankful my insurance covers one more IVF during my lifetime, but that also scares me. It's not fair how much money people have to put into this when there are so many freaking people that don't want kids and have them!

There is a BIG part of me that wants to get the ball rolling with adoption. We have talked to several different agencies and are looking into a domestic adoption. we actually started investigating this pre August IVF and we have been saving every penny for adoption because it is SO expensive! We are trying to decide which agency we like best. What gives me hope is several friends adoption stories and how it gave them the family they longed for. There is a good tax credit for adoption, and my company gives a 5,000 adoption assistance- this will definitely help!

I guess I am just being impatient. I need to chill out and adjust my attitude. I do think it's ok to have lots of days like this and we just want this NOW. So very badly. We would give anything!

I am going to print this off and put it on my refrigerator, car, dresser, etc. just to remind me of the truth in this and that I need to fully comply with this every day!




Thanks for letting me vent :)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New company car! YAY!




I am so EXCITED about my new company car that I ordered Friday. They gave us VW options for 2012 and i am pumped! It was either the Jetta wagon or the Passat. I knew immediately I wanted the cute Passat. I test drove it and am in love! I just have 7 more long weeks to wait before it comes in.
i think I am most excited about the heated seats, leather and sunroof! I have never ever been given options like these before on a company car. And since my office is basically my car I am loving it!
It also has TDI® technology which runs on ultra-low-sulfur diesel fuel, helping reduce sooty emissions by up to 90% compared to previous diesel engines.So it's better for the environment and gets 43, yes 43 MPG!
can't wait for this great car to arrive so I can ditch my current company car which has not been a good car! :)

BUSY 2 weeks!

The last 2 weeks have been non-stop busy. I am honestly glad to have some down time now!

we started off the whirlwind of events with my stepbrothers wedding weekend 2 weeks ago with a great rehersal dinner, then the wedding the next day. We had a little too much fun rehersal dinner night and ended up at Ronnie grisanti's (a restaurant and bar we love) after the dinner, which always equals a not so good post-day every time we go! I was still struggling 24 hours later at the reception downing water left and right.



My mom and sisters




brian and me




Past Time to go home!


The wedding was beautiful and a big congrats to the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Kimbal Cross Gordon! My niece Ella was the flower girl and this role was so fitting to her personality- walking down the asile waving, swaying at the alter to the music. She is too funny and we were cracking up! About an hour into the reception she was so exhausted she fell asleep in my arms. I savored that moment because it's rare to get that time ever w this busy 5 year old!





On the other hand, My 18 month old nephew, James, was a dancing machine. he did not stop moving the entire night! Here are a couple of clips of this sweet little busy man! he had a marshmallow in each hand from the adorable candy bar!







Ella wanted to have a slumber party at our house, so she spent the night and all of the energy she didn't have at the wedding came back in full force when we got home! we had fun but that child moves around the bed all night long, so I slept none. But it was worth it as she is only 5 for a little while. her favorite color is blue so we found all things blue around my house for her to keep. She was super excited!
Ella loves my dogs- especially "princess Flower' our foster dog that she named. She wanted to play with them in the backyard on Sunday am, so I walked out and found this:



She had Sadie (who has never been in a kennel ever) locked in the kennel, and a death grip on Princess- haha! of course while wearing all of her blue still! :)I know this terrible door needs to be removed or painted!



Buddy is hoping he's not next!!!!!



watching My Little Pony



After she left Brian and I hit the road for my sales meeting in New orleans. It was a long day of driving!

I am glad to be home!!!!!