can I catch a break, PLEASE?

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT OVER THE LAST WEEK! IT HAS HELPED EACH DAY GET BETTER.

I have tried to keep myself as busy as possible by working, etc. Monday I ended up having to get a sinus cocktail shot for the never ending sinus infection I developed Jan 1- just couldn't stay away from shots!!!

Unfortunately my company is doing a restructure and I should know by next week if I will have a job. I know there is never a good time to lose a job, but right now could not be worse timing. I am not mentally prepared to interview and look for another job. The medical sales world is brutal and the interview process is hell. I am praying I will not be part of this lay off. I have been with this company for almost 5 years and really love my job. I am worried because there are 2 memphis reps- myself and another. I have a feeling they will condense down to one rep. I am just trying to take this one day at a time. But last night it hit me that I feel like I don't have control of anything in my life right now. It is such a terrible feeling and super scary. I hate it! Hopefully I can catch a break soon.

I talked to my wonderful doctor yesterday and we discussed my IVF cycle. Since it took me so long to STIM, his conclusion is that it has to do with my egg quality which is the reason I am not getting pregnant. That was definitely disappointing to hear. But right now we are done with fertility treatments. I need to give my body a break. He also told me that one IVF cycle equals 2 years of trying naturally. And my chances of conceiving naturally are only 2% a month. It is highly likely I will never have a pregnancy but I am dealing with that trying to process this. I do have our frozen embryos, but am being super protective over them. I am not ready to try a frozen cycle. Something is not working and my body certainly needs some down time. I want to use them when I feel healthier and ready. We are looking into adoption and that seems to be where our heads are at right now. That is also super overwhelming! We have talked to several agencies and how in the world do you select one? We are also looking at private adoption ideas. Just wish I had a crystal ball with the answers.

Since I seem to have no control over anything in my life I decided to start exercising to escape and lose the 15 lbs I have gained through IVF. If I can't be pregnant I am going to be skinny dang it!!!!!!! I started Pure Barre and am in love with it. Most cities have a studio and it is the best escape. It's such a great workout too! It's definitely not easy, but I have already lost a few pounds. I highly rec it for fast results and a 55 minute getaway from life.
http://purebarre.com/