Guardian angel

Last Sunday my father came over for a Christmas night gathering. Before the rest of the family arrived he gave me something so incredibly special. A guardian angel cross. Virginia- my stepmother sent this with my dad since she couldn't travel from Knoxville with him this year. I want to share why this angel is a miracle worker and love having her by our side.
Here is what she said in the letter enclosed with the angel:

Christmas 2011
Lauren-
I am passing my angel to you. She has performed 3 miracles since I started passing her down. Here is the true story.
One of my employees was diagnosed with melanoma. I gave her what I called my guardian angel. She kept it with her always and was declared cancer free after several years. She kept the angel until she knew it was time to pass it back to me when I was very concerned about your dad's high blood pressure. One day she wrote me a note and told me how the angel had helped her and that now it was time to let her help me.
I had it for several years and your dad got better. Then a few years ago another employee of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. I knew it was time to again pass my angel on to someone else. After all her surgery, chemo and radiation she has been declared cancer free. She returned the angel to me because she wanted me to have it to give to someone else when she was needed again.
I was thinking about you and Brian and then I remembered my angel and decided she needs to go to you. If nothing else maybe you can be comforted knowing the miracles she has helped happen. Keep her with you and pray. It has worked and maybe it can work just one more time for you and Brian.
I wish you and brian nothing but the best and hope for at least one miracle baby.

Virginia

I have heled this angel tight and kept her with me at all times. praying we can become her fourth miracle! The back of her says "Angels shall guard thee"

thoughts...

24 more hours. I can't even describe how nervous I am!

Tomorrow we find out if we will be parents. If my mom and Kim, Dad and Virginia, and Linda will be grandparents. If our 3 grandmothers will be great grandmothers. If our sisters- Jennifer, Margaret and Mary will be aunts. If our brother in law, Jimmy will be an uncle. And our brother KC and his wife janna will be an aunt and uncle. If James and Ella will be cousins. It is truly the biggest moment of our lives together so far!


I will never forget what it felt like in August to get the news that our IVF cycle did not work. I couldn't comprehend anything the nurse (who I had never met that called to give me the news which INFURIATED ME!) past the word negative. I hung up the phone and just cried and cried and cried. I think I cried for about a week straight. Thank God for brian being there and strong for us.
And for wine!
I am so scared to answer the phone tomorrow! I do not EVER want to feel that horrible pain again. It was similar to getting a call that someone had passed away. Dr. Murray, who I could go on about all day long and how phenomenal of a dr he is, will be the one to call us with the results. The way it SHOULD be! He has been so incredibly kind and wonderful to us. Whatever the outcome, it will be more comforting to hear from him.

This cycle has been a difficult one. We were away from home for the majority of December. I started off very slow, but things certainly turned around. We made it to a 5 day transfer as opposed to a 3 day transfer. My estrogen was almost 4000 compared to 1000 with first IVF. I STIMMED for 18 days and ended my shot tally with around 90 injections. That's alot of meds my body has had to process and deal with. I am worried abut my egg quality not being the best and just praying so hard that my body was a better incubator for these embryos than anywhere else.
We have put everything into this IVF cycle. Starting with very specific instructions around diet (nothing cold, organic, no dairy, whole grains and a long list of others) herbs, visualization, chi gong and preparing my body for this per Dr. Judi- my acupuncture dr. I have seen her since August- once weekly, then 2 times a week starting in October. She wanted to create the best follicles and I followed her strict instructions from August on. Very hard lifestyle changes! She is the fertility guru and has a crazy good success rate. I hope and pray we are one of her successful couples!
As Brian constantly reminds me- we have done everything humanly possible that we can do.

I can certainly understand why Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM says that being diagnosed with infertility and failure after failure are the same emotions that a cancer patient goes through. I pray that the 8 months of this year that we have spent on fertility medicines or doing procedures will be finished. We are ready to be done. My body needs a break and just wants to have a healthy pregnancy.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be positive tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all of your support- I seriously couldn't get through all of this without my outlet of blogging and your words of inspiration and encouragement!

Love-
lauren
Here's how much Follistim it took us to get my follicles ready! OUCH! (And of course Menopur, Lupron, Siazen, Dexamethasone, asprin, crinone, estradiol)
We filled 2 sharps containers this go round

out of the archives from the 90's, but great song

couldn't think of a better song for today. I need to listen to this song over and over! Used to be one of my favorites back in the day- never would I have ever thought it would apply to trying to have a baby one day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFXuk3uvWHc

Testing experiences

So I gave in this am. I took a home test and it was negative. I am so sad.
I had the Clearblue Easy digital tests which I have heard are very accurate. Of course I pulled the test apart after to look at the stick to see what was going on with it and nothing. Just a dark line.
I wish I could get my beta tomorrow instead of Sunday to just close the door on 2011. I hate this year.
What have your experiences been with home tests before beta???? Rebecca, your blog was helpful with your pictures...Thanks!

I found a place to get my beta done on new years day!

New Years day is going to have some tears involved. Either very happy tears or the worst feeling in the world tears. But thanks to a friend of mine, who is a nurse at a hospital in Memphis, who pulled some strings to make this happen! I am going to pre-register tomorrow so I just show up Sunday and they draw my blood, call my dr and he will give me the results.
Also, thanks to all of my friends who had ideas of places and tried to help me!

We hope to have some amazing news on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Lord- please grant me patience AND improve my bad mood!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We certainly did and I am so sad it's over. I love all the time we get with family and miss them all so much after Christmas. We came back after the transfer friday and I rested until Saturday (Christmas Eve) around 3. then we went to my aunt and uncles, then to brian's aunt and uncles for Christmas Eve. Then to my mom's Sunday for Christmas day! And we ended Christmas day with family at our house for pick up foods and cocktails for a few hours. I enjoyed my sparkling cider :)

The BEST Christmas present we received was the news that we have 2 frozen embryos! We were thrilled because the outlook on Friday was pretty grim for them. We have an ACB, and a CCB. VERY happy about this. And then the other in Memphis makes 3.

I have to say the 9 day wait is KILLING ME! I am analyzing any symptom and need to stop. I will say above all else, my mood has been terrible. I have been so emotional today- mad, upset, sad. I am praying this isn't PMS! If it is, then it's PMS on crack because I have never experienced this- haha! Did anybody else have these fits?

The Crinone is MUCH better to me than the PIO shots! Of course my chest is sore, but I am pretty sure that is a symptom of progesterone (praying that it means I am pregnant though!)

So...I can get my beta blood draw on Sunday. Which happens to be NEW YEARS DAY. UGH! I am in medical sales and have asked every nurse, dr, etc. to help me find a place but there is nowhere open being a holiday! I DO NOT want to wait until Monday!!!!!
If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I am not afraid to show up in the ER if I have to!

Wishing you all the best during the last few days of 2011. I am SO ready to close the door on this year where we spent about 7 months on meds-fertility treatments!



Had to share this pic of my sweet husband being the best uncle in the world!

3 embryos transferred!

We are home and I am resting. Everything went really well today. Our doctor suggested transferring 3, as 2 were early blast stage- not quite expanded blastocysts. he said he thought 2 would be expanded blasts by the afternoon, but the best place for them to be was in me! The rate of triplets is only 5% so we were ok with putting 3 in to enhance our chances of having at least one. He has never had anyone have triplets from transferring 3. 2 were from ICSI and one (the least strong of the 3) was the conventional form of IVF where they put everything in the dish and let them do their work.

There are 3 others that are still hanging on...PRAYING we have at least one to freeze. I admit I am terrified that we started with 17 and were down to 6 today. But I am very pleased that we made it to a 5 day transfer. We will know tomorrow if the others made it.
I can get my beta blood draw on January 1st...New years Day! How amazing would it be to start the year off with incredible news! Now I have to find somewhere that can do a blood draw on new years! I am on a mission!!!

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I feel really good about things and have done all I can do. It's up to God and my body. I am going to take it very easy this holiday season and enjoy letting these embabies get nice and comfy!

What's a night of bed rest without a fire, dogs and Christmas Vacation? :)


Hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend and Merry Christmas!!!

DAY 4 UPDATE!

We still have 8 in the game. One arrested last night, but she is keeping it in the dish to see what happens.
2 are morulas now (A solid mass of blastomeres that forms when the zygote splits; develops into the blastula) and 2 more look to almost be morulas- they have divided and are around 12-16 cells. The others are hanging tight around 5-8 cells, but are growing since they were 4-6 yesterday.
The next 24 hours are critical...they go from about 16 cells to around 250. They have lots of work to do today! PLEASE PRAY that they are strong enough to develop and survive this period and become a 5 day blastocyst! I am really nervous.





Here is more info about where we are that I found on a dr's blog...

So what happens after day 3? Two days later we would like it to be a blastocyst. The day before it becomes a blastocyst, it should be a morula. A morula forms when the 8 cell embryo divides further, and at the same time the cells become very close to each other. Here it’s difficult to see the borders of the cells, so the morula looks like one big blob. It ‘s solid in the middle. It’s still inside the shell. There are about 12-30 cells in a morula.

Most morulas (some write the pleural morulae, but most write it morulas) look about the same, so we don’t give them a number or a grade. We may say “nice” for a good one, but that’s about it.
Is it ok to transfer a morula? If your doctor wants to transfer your embryos on day 4, you will probably have morulas, but it will be hard for you to get a handle on quality. Most programs transfer day 3 or day 5. Day 4 transfer is ok, but most of us would say if you are waiting till day 4, just wait till day 5 so that the embryos have more time to grow, and quality can be better assessed.
What if on day 5 you are told the best embryos are morulas, not blastocysts? Not so good. I have had patients get back 2 morulas and become pregnant with twins. However the chances of pregnancy are much higher if you have blastocysts.
If there are morulas on day 5, isn’t it better to wait another day until they are blastocysts? No, because even if they become blasts on day 6 they are still a day behind. Rarely, we transfer on day 6. This may happen if , for example, there are 4 morulas and we want to give them, one more day to see which ones, if any, develop a little more.
Can we do anything to make the embryos grow faster? The same answer as last time. We try to change things up a bit next cycle, but there is no special drug protocol for slow embryos. Its just a matter of trying again and hoping for a better outcome.

Bedrest...your opinions please!

OK fellow IVF veterans. Did you do bed rest? If so, how many days? For my first IVF I did pretty strict bed rest for 2-3ish days. My doctor is really big on studies (which I love) and he does not believe that I need to do that.
The first 5 hours after my transfer I will be in the car heading back to memphis. I then plan to take it very easy the rest of the day- night just lounging around. Saturday is Christmas Eve and my plan is to take it easy but then get out to go to 2 different family gatherings.
Just wanted to know your thoughts and what has worked best for you all! Thanks! :)

On another note, I am SO SAD I am missing one of my dearest friends, Elizabeth, come in town tonight from New Orleans. They are passing through heading to her parents in Arkansas for Christmas. :(

DAY 3 update!

Things are still looking good for us! We have:
1 grade one
6 grade two
and 2 grade three

We will leave again tomorrow night for Chattanooga for the Friday transfer and I am glad all 9 are hanging on. I am so pleased with our numbers so far and am hopeful we will have some strong blastocysts to freeze!

Thanks for the sweet thoughts and prayers.
Now off to finish wrapping! :)

Embabies update!

We are on for a 5 day transfer...YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! Last time we did a 3 day, so praying these will be much more developed!!!
9 are still in the game, one is going a little fast and has 7 cells. The others are under 4 cells, so she has given them a 2-3 rating. One is the best but she grades extra hard. She said all looks good though and we are certainly on the right track.
So we will head back to Chattanooga Thursday night, have the transfer at 9 AM Friday...then back to Memphis for my embabies to get nice and cozy!!!


I am trying to finish EVERYTHING for Christmas before we leave so I can rest Friday and Saturday, then head to family on Christmas eve. We didn't get a big tree this year...since we were in Chattanooga longer than expected and have to go back, it didn't work out. So, my sweet mother and step father bought this "baby" tree for us. What a perfect theme for this Christmas- with babies on our mind! So I decorated our baby tree last night and think it's just perfect for us this year. I am almost finished wrapping and shopping as well! Merry Christmas everyone! Praying we get our little Christmas miracle.

HILARIOUS!

Someone sent this blog info to me the other day and I have laughed so hard reading it! http://peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.blogspot.com/2011_12_01_archive.html

This post in particular...I hope you get a good laugh too!!!!!




-Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies-


By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf. Almost everyone I know has one. Some people even have two! (Now I'm having guilt for not having two, because apparently I need two because when my kids are adults they'll each want one from their childhood. Ugh. Not looking forward to that conversation with the Hubs when I tell him why we need another Elf.)

The Elf is a handy little thing to have. The little bastard keeps my children in check this time of year. When there is even a HINT of rebellion all I have to do is say, "Elf" and they snap back in line.

If he's so good, Jen, then why did you call him a bastard? you ask. I called him a bastard, because even though my children think he's magic, I'm the one doing all the "magic" and I totally suck at it. I forget to move him all the time and when I forget I have to spin even MORE lies than usual. ("No, Santa can't give you the $400 Lego Death Star. Even though he says he makes everything, he can't make Legos and he has to actually go and buy them and he can't spend that much money on you." or "Well, I don't know why he gave it to your friend last year for Christmas. I'm sure his mommy and daddy paid Santa to do that and we don't pay Santa." Thanks a lot, asshole parents who gave their kid the Death Star from Santa! As parents, let's all make a pact that any gift over $200 comes from grandma and grandpa rather than Santa, OK? It would make my life a lot easier.)

But back to our Elf. Our Elf has been a lazy SOB this year. He usually makes his first appearance Thanksgiving night (I get him out when I'm on my way out at 3 AM for Black Friday). This year we left town and I forgot. He waited until we came back and then he was ready join our family. Since then he's only gone away 4 maybe 5 times. We are always forgetting to move him. And it should not be difficult. I am literally moving him from the top shelf in my kitchen to the bottom shelf and back again. I'm such a loser that I can't even do that right.

I heard some over achieving moms talking one day about how they like to make their Elf do "naughty" things. What exactly does that mean? I asked. "Oh, you know, he bakes cookies in the night and leaves a huge mess for me to clean up in the morning." WTF??? "Yes, or one time last year, he took all the ornaments off our tree! Teeheeehee."

Teeheehee?!! Why in the world would I make my Elf do something like that? I'm the one who has to clean up his mess and redecorate my tree! All so my kid could ooh and ahh over the magic of the Elf for about 3 minutes until the next shiny object caught their eye? I decided these women were insane.

But then I started listening closer and realized they are not alone. There are entire blogs out there right now dedicated to naughty/fun Elf behavior. People like Danielle over at Blossom Bunkhouse. I read her blog and I got really pissed off. I should have known she'd irritate me when I read her perky-mom-who-loves-to-make-amazing-homemade-memories-with-her-kids-when-she's-not-secretly-downing-Valium-and-Vodka-so-she-can-be-so-damn-perky-and-fun title for her blog. (In case you haven't guessed, I'm proudly un-medicated and I have the mood swings to prove it.)

Blossom has 101 Fun Ideas to do with your Elf. ONE HUNDRED AND ONE. As a friend pointed out, there are only 25 days until Christmas - why 101?!!

I wanted to punch her as soon as I read her top 2:

1. Have a marshmallow fight (marshmallows everywhere).
2. Have a pillow fight (feathers everywhere).

OK, seriously? Does she have a clue how much a feather pillow costs? The hell I'm going to destroy it just so I can sweep it up again in the morning!

Or like I have time, desire or resources to make this red carpet entrance for a doll. I can barely get him out of the box and prop him up on the shelf. We haven't even read the book yet this year and she wants me to literally roll out a red carpet for him. When does she do laundry? When does she work? And most importantly, when does she sleep?

20. Make faces on school pictures with a marker.

I lecture my children constantly on appropriate materials to write on with markers. A photograph is not one of those things. It would take years to undo that damage if I did that. I'd have mustaches on every photograph in my home. "The Elf did it!"

24. Read a book.

Yeah, I tried that one on my own the other day (didn't even need Blossom's help to come up with that one). The Hubs didn't see him on the couch reading and he sat on him. Kids couldn't find him because he wasn't on his usual shelf. So much for trying to think outside the box...shelf.

32. Switch clothes from one closet to another.

And I do this when? 4 AM when everyone is asleep and I'm hauling dresses and jeans from one room to another? And we're assuming my children would even NOTICE I did this.

42. Take picture of child sleeping.

This is one I would do just to scare the snot out of them. I'd like to perch the Elf right on their sleeping heads and take a picture of that. I could probably whip that picture out in the summer when they're being bad and it would scare them enough to knock it off. I'll bookmark that one.

44. Knit a scarf or hat.

When I'm not trashing my house with feathers, flour or drawing on the walls I'll whip up a handmade hat, Psycho.

64. Learn multiplication facts.

Huh? Just set him on the table with flashcards? I guess I could do that, but it sounds as boring as my shelf.

80. Elf packs school lunches but mixes up everyone's lunches. (Each child receives sibling's lunch - great conversation piece at dinner.)

Or source of meltdown at school - you pick.

93. Sit on toilet OUTSIDE on front lawn - if you happen to have an extra toilet being stored.

WTF? Who has an "extra" toilet they can put in the yard? Either she's grasping at straws to get to 101 or she's white trash.

He's called The Elf on the Shelf, not the Elf who Skydives, Takes Bubble Baths and Shaves the Dog! Leave him on the shelf so the rest of us slackers don't look so bad. I think I'm just going to lay my Elf on his shelf, tape wires and hoses to him and tell my kids he's in a coma and hopefully he'll recover before Christmas. That should give me some flexibility.

Retrieval update!

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I was feeling pretty rough! We also decided to hit the road back to Memphis from Chattanooga. I medicated with pain meds and got comfy with a blanket and pillow and rested the 5 hours back home. Brian did an amazing job caring for me and getting us home safe and sound.
We went in for the retrieval and they did a wonderful job with everything. I love that it was at the fertility clinic rather than a center with all kinds of random surgeries. The staff was top notch as always. They have been so sweet to us through this entire process. Dr. scotchie, the other dr at the clinic, did the retrieval. She retrieved 17 eggs! And boy did I feel them yesterday. I am still really sore and in pain but MUCH better than yesterday! I am so glad this part is over and done with and just trying to avoid OHSS now by chugging water and gatorade!
The embryologist called yesterday afternoon and said out of the eggs, 14 were good and they planned to ICSI (where they inject the sperm into the egg with a needle) 10 eggs and then do the conventional way of letting the "swimmers" get to the egg in the dish with the other 4. We were definitely pleased with this #! especially considering where we were last week at this time.
We already received our update this morning and here is what we have:
9 eggs total that fertilized
6 fertilized with ICSI. 3 did not fertilize with ICSI, and one was abnormal with ICSI
Out of the 4 in the dish fertilizing the conventional way, 3 have fertilized!

So now we play the waiting game to find out if we do a 3 day or 5 day transfer. PRAYING these eggs can hang on and make it to a 5 day.

Looking forward to getting the report on how they have done today and through the night. It is truly incredible how they can make all of this happen!

SO glad to be home and thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers, messages, etc. It means the world to us!

Happy Holidays!!!

XO-
lauren

Retrieval Sunday!!!!

We are all set for tomorrow morning for retrieval. I'm so bloated and ready to get these out! I'm always nervous about anesthesia but know I am in great hands. I feel very confident that they will retrieve some great eggs as hard as I have worked the last ten months with acupuncture and ESP. Since august with supplements, diet, etc. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We are ready to get home but sure will miss Chattanooga!

DAY 14 of my never ending Stimulation!

It's day 14 and I am hoping and praying that the end is in sight. We go in tomorrow for a monitoring apt and am praying for a Sunday retrieval. I have never been so excited to get a blood draw and ultrasound in my life! Tomorrow is a big day to figure out the next big steps in this process.
I am starting to feel awful. Bloated, huge, exhausted, moody, upset, headaches and nausea. 14 days of hormones being pumped through will do that I imagine! I'm so glad Brian is patient and understanding as I have not been a joy to be around today!
Our friend Tara is coming to visit from Knoxville tomorrow-Saturday. I can't wait to see her and know this will make the time pass quickly. I am getting homesick and am ready to go home.
My shot tally is at 71 tonight and my blood draws this cycle are at 9. My arms look like an abuse victim! No short sleeves for me right now!
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and I hope to update you with great news tomorrow.

SO TRUE!

As hard is this to understand sometimes, but so incredibly true. It's all in his hands!

E2 tripled!

Looks like my estrogen levels are cooperating! I am at 1289!! This is higher than my estrogen level got during my entire cycle of my first ivf. I go back for monitoring again Friday with a retrieval of Sunday, then back to Memphis Monday. Im counting down the days and praying we make it to retrieval with no issues.

Stim day 12 update

Apparently I am going to stim forever! I know my follicles can only grow so much a day but I am so ready to have my retrieval! 12 days of shots sucks. Big time!!!! We had another monitoring apt today and I can't say enough amazing things about the staff at TRM. They are phenomenal. Dr. Scotchie, the other RE, did my ultrasound and she measured 9 follicles ranging from about 10 to 14. We definitely have several more days of stimulation to go before they can retrieve. In a perfect world they would retrieve Saturday, come back to Memphis Sunday night and then back to chattanooga for a 3 or 5 day transfer. We will definitely be going back to Memphis in between retrieval and transfer but I'm glad because I'm a little homesick! If I continue to stim slow it could maybe even be a Monday or Tuesday transfer which would literally put us coming back to Chattanooga (if I get to a 5 day transfer, which is the goal) on Christmas eve or Christmas day. I'm still waiting on my e2 number, hoping it is good news.
Ivf Is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I hear stories of people who have done this over and over and over, like 5 to 10 times and my heart goes out to them. My stomach is bruised and raw, sore, drained physically and emotionally and ready for this to be over.
Thank you for your prayers and support!

update! better #s today

Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers. It has helped me tremendously over the last few days. We went in for monitoring this morning and we have hit all the milestones dr. Murray wished we would hit. My e2 doubled to 405 and I have 12 follicles- with 2 measuring around 10-11ish. It looks like I have started to respond. So we will continue on the same path-no med changes right now in hopes of my #s to keep rising. My lining is an 8 which is good. He believes I will trigger on thursday with a retrieval of saturday. Brian and I would head back to memphis next sunday to wait the 3-5 days for the transfer, then come back to chattanooga for the transfer and then home to memphis. Itim hoping this will truly be a christmas miracle! Next apt. Is tuesday and I will keep you all posted! :)

e2

Went down to 205 from 485.this is the # I struggled with last time. They are upping me to 375 follistim and 150 menopur. Praying I start to respond. Our next appt. Is sunday in chattanooga with dr. Murray. I'm so incredibly worried my body is not doing what its supposed to.

friday update

Ugh...my follicles aren't growing as we hoped they would. I'm still lingering in the 6-8 range. Just getting extremely paranoid that I'm not responding like I should be to the meds. I had to get my arm stuck 4 times today to find a good vein and didn't do well with that at all! I'm still waiting on my e2 # and hoping and praying that it is a # gauging that my follicles will cooperate.
Today has been tough and I am feeling pretty defeated. Please continue to pray for us.

Memphis snow!

It rarely snows in memphis and if it does, we usually don't get a glimpse of it until around February. This is the second time we have seen snow in the last couple of weeks. I think we are in for a long, cold winter!
This was the perfect snow today, just enough to blanket the area, but still keep the streets safe. Here are some pictures from our neighborhood and of the dogs. Buddy loved it, Sadie and Princess-not so much!

Trying to be positive...

I had my monitoring apt this morning and am a bit frustrated. I am on STIM day 6 and I think my #s should have been better. My lining is only a 5.2 and my 26 follicles (not sure what happened to the other 4 that totaled 30 on baseline day) are still small...8 and under, mostly 6ish. I am going to stop analyzing bc i know I am in the best hands with Dr. Murray and know he will make changes to help me along and get me to where I need to be.
I already feel so bloated and was hoping to see big follicles on this visit.
Long way to go! Please pray for us!!!!!


But I am staying positive and surrounding myself with happy things!

LIKE:



Delicious cookies from my sweet friend Irwin!



My sweet husband mixing my meds every day and night!



Buddy getting groomed and looking like a marshmallow!



Our new table!


Making headway packing for Chattanooga


My 2 boys I love more than anything!

question about Stimming and shortness of breath-

I am on Day 4 of STIMs. So far here is what I have:
Day 1- Lupron 10 units
day 2- Lupron 10 units- AM and PM, Follistim 225- PM, menopur- 75, letrazole, and dexamethasone
day 3-Lupron 10 units- AM and PM, Follistim 225- PM, menopur- 75, letrazole, and dexamethasone
day 4-Lupron 10 units- AM and PM, Follistim 225- PM, menopur- 75, letrazole, and dexamethasone

I have been experiencing some shortness of breath- especially after I take my PM doses. Has anyone else experienced this from any of these meds? Of course it is completely freaking me out. I know that can happen with OHSS, but surely after just a few days of STIMS I wouldn't be experiencing that.
Thanks for your thoughts-advice!

News tomorrow- first monitoring apt!

I talked to the nurse at my RE's office today about the shortness of breath. She said to switch my dose of dexomethasone to AM instead of PM. Since it is a steroid it can cause you to be hyper, anxious, etc.and could be the shortness of breath culprit. Guess that's why I am getting about 4 hours of sleep on average now since I have started this. And I am a 8-10 (yes, I love my sleep) hours of sleep a night kind of girl- otherwise I am not pleasant!

I have not had a monitoring appointment yet and in a way I am relieved because I would be stressing and analyzing everything. Tomorrow is my first and we will see how my follicles are doing and what my e2 is up to as well! I am DYING to know and am definitely plumping up big time in my stomach. The lady at the manicure shop today at lunch asked how far along I was. UGH!
After tomorrow, Our next appointment will be in Chattanooga for monitoring! Hoping we are half way through STIMS!

I have to say that the shots hurt WAY worse than my IUI's and first IVF. I think it is because my doses are much higher! But I will get through this! My stomach is so sore and the little grapes (bruises that look like grapes) are popping up :(
I want to cuss the makers of Follisitm for not creating a cartridge bigger than 300 u. Since I am taking 225, I have had to inject 2 shots of Follistim the past 2 nights. I've now had 900 u. of follistim and gone through 3 cartridges. medicine-please be doing your job well!
Any tips on making Menopur not burn? I can barely finish the injection from the stinging pain!

So, here is where I am up to this point:
Baseline Ultrasound- 30 follicles compared to 18 last IVF!
E2 (estradiol) at the start was 334
12-2, Friday: Lupron 10 injection AM, Lupron 10 injection PM=2 shots total
12-3, Saturday-Lupron 10 injection AM and PM, Follistim 225 injection, Menopur 75 injection=4 shots total
12-4, Sunday- Lupron 10 injection AM and PM, Follistim 225 2 injections bc of the stupid cartridge only holding 300 units- ugh! and menopur 75 injection=5 shots total
12-5, Monday- Lupron 10 injection AM and PM, Follistim 225 injection- 2 injections thanks to 300 u. cartridge, Menopur 75 injection=5 shots total
12-6- Lupron 10 injection- AM and PM, Follistim 225, menopur 75. Last dose of Letrazole!!!!!!!!!!!=4 shots total

***********As of today my shot tally is at 20!

12-7- FIRST monitoring appointment and will see if any med changes are needed. Also will probably be starting Siazen, my growth hormone! What's another injection to add to the fun, right?

Thanks for the thoughts, prayers and encouragement. I am feeling great about things and am ready for retrieval!

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!

I think our house is at maximum Christmas decor potential, minus the tree! Which I can't wait to go and get at the Christmas tree farm where we choose a tree and they cut it down for us. I LOVE to decorate the tree which will also help pass time in the 2 week wait after we get back from Chattanooga and give me something to look forward to during IVF! Not to mention I haven't even wrapped one gift yet, or finished shopping for that matter!!!! Yay for occupying time in the 2WW! I like to make Christmas linger around as long as possible and have a great excuse to do just that this year!










Christmas came early for me with a new Chloe bag- Brian said it's my IVF present for enduring all the needles :)

Dear Little One-

I heard this song today http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8QqKe5d95U and of course the tears came flowing! But what a sweet song. I enjoyed the intro with Wes King talking about their 3 year struggle with infertility and how they finally have their miracle baby. We are ready for you to come into our world and working very hard to help you get here with our second IVF right now. Please know how much you will be loved by so many. We can't wait to meet you!


Love-
Mom

PS-
We bought your first items recently. Here are a few pictures :)

Your first Alabama accessory. This will be one of MANY!





And a wonderful stroller (Thank you jenna for selling to us!) that is ready to take you many fun places!!!!



It even has a great little bed for you in your newborn/infant days and we can change the colors when we find out if you are a little boy or girl!

My daily prayer for my friends suffering from infertility

Dear Lord, the pain of infertility is so deep. All of our lives, we dream of being mothers, of raising children with loving hearts to do your will on this earth. Month after month when that dream does not come true, it so painful, Lord. We feel like our dreams die each month with empty arms. Please guide us to trust in your plan for us. We desperately need you in our lives. Thank you for all the blessings we do have, knowing through you all things are possible. Amen

FAMILY ACT OF 2011!!!!!!!

This could be incredible for people suffering from infertility who aren't able to afford treatment to receive it!!!!!!! HUGE! I am writing my representatives TODAY and encourage all to do the same!




About the Family Act of 2011 Bill
Updated: 12/1/2011

Tax Credit Bill for Infertility Treatments introduced in the U.S. Senate and U.S. House of Representatives

A bill to create a tax credit for the out-of-pocket costs associated with infertility medical treatment has been introduced in the U.S. Senate by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (NY) and in the U.S. House of Representatives by Congressman John Lewis (GA). Co-sponsored by Rosa L. DeLauro (CT), William Keating (MA), and Richard E. Neal (MA). the appropriately named the Family Act of 2011, S 965/H.R. 3522, this bill will potentially help thousands of people seek medical treatment that otherwise would be out of reach for them.

Write to your U.S. Senators immediately and ask them to co-sponsor the Family Act of 2011, S 965.

Write to your Representative immediately and ask them to co-sponsor the Family Act of 2011, HR 3522.

Our goal is to get as many Senators and Members of Congress to co-sponsor this bill and to seek a hearing on the bill in the appropriate House and Senate Committees. Please ask your elected officials in Washington to co-sponsor Family Act of 2011. Please urge your family and friends around the country to send a letter as well. We need thousands of letters flooding the U.S. Senate!

Link to Senate Bill: http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112s965is/html/BILLS-112s965is.htm

Link to House Bill: http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112hr3522ih/pdf/BILLS-112hr3522ih.pdf

To read the letter sent by Senator Gillibrand to other members of the U.S. Senate, click here.

Key provisions of the House and Senate bill:

The Family Act covers the out-of-pocket costs associated with in vitro fertilization (IVF) including diagnostic tests, laboratory charges, professional charges, and medications for IVF.
The Family Act covers the out-of-pocket costs of fertility preservation procedures if the man or woman is diagnosed with cancer and the cancer treatment or disease itself may result in infertility.
The Family Act has a cost sharing provision allowing 50% of all applicable medical expenses to be covered up to a lifetime maximum of $13,360. You would need to have out-of-pocket costs totaling $26,720 to claim the entire credit in your lifetime.
If you do not owe taxes in a particular year, do not owe enough taxes to use the whole credit, or do not reach the max amount in one tax year, it carries over to the next year for a max of five years after the first year you use the credit.
The Family Act is available to couples filing jointly with adjusted gross incomes of less than $222,520, but the credit is smaller for those earning between $182,500 and $222,520.
Read our Frequently Asked Questions about the Tax Credit Bill. Get the latest information about this Bill's status here.

How does a bill become law?

DONATE Now!
We need your financial support to fight for the rights of women and men who living with infertility. Your donations will help RESOLVE to pass The Family Act of 2011, protect current insurance mandates at the state level, to stop legislation that would negatively impact access to infertility treatment, ensure the continuation of the Adoption Tax Credit, and be the public voice that fights for the rights of those diagnosed with infertility. Donations to RESOLVE are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by U.S. Law.

DONATE

Want to make a difference? Volunteer and become a grassroots advocate. Click here to find out more.

My Thanksgiving Day was made!

My grandmother "Meme"






My youngest sister, Margaret top left, cousin Shelby in top middle
my grandmother, mom and middle sister mary on the couch




and of course so very thankful for the best husband in the world!



Our Thanksgiving was the best ever because my grandmother was able to come! She has been struggling for months and months and months with her health and has been in and out of the hospital, etc. It has been so hard to see her this way as she has always been tough as nails and super active- even at her age of 86! She is doing better every day and it made my day to share several hours on Thanksgiving with her.

Our Chattanooga home!

brian and I found a great little house in chattanooga to rent while we are there for IVF. The lady who owns it could not be nicer and owns a beautiful spa called Lakeview at Fontana Resort & Spa in the mountains of North Carolina that I want to visit! She is letting us bring our dogs, which makes me so happy. I would miss them so much being away that long, especially not having them there to snuggle up to while on bed rest!
The house is in such a convenient and fun area and the city is just beautiful!
here are some pictures... It looks so serene and peaceful. A great place to rest and relax for IVF!
http://www.vrbo.com/138646

My IVF Station is a HAPPY place :)

Last IVF (and 3 IUI's) I dreaded going in to get my needles and medicine as I was completely terrified! I have decided to make my medicine station (our china cabinet is substituting as "the lab" for the next couple weeks) a much happier place where I will feel positive and excited when it's time for my doses. I put up a few quotes to remind myself of each day and pictures that inspire me like of Brian, my niece and nephew, etc. And the Christmas decorations all around make everything so cheerful- I love Christmas time!

I also did my STIM sheets (AKA- checklists) to keep up with all of our meds and made them in red and green in the spirit of making our sweet Christmas baby! I did the first 6 days so feel much more organized!



I am feeling GREAT about everything, except my throat is sore w chest congestion big time. I am praying that I am not coming down with something as this is NOT the week for this! However, I think it may be due to the weather. It was warm in the 60's and them plummeted down to where it was actually snowing outside! Welcome to Memphis with the crazy weather!

And last but not least- I had to take a pic of all the medicine sheets listing side effects, interactions, etc. Being the hypochondriac that I am, I have decided to set these to the side, just like I did last time as too much reading I will have every symptom as soon as I inject the meds!




Just 2 more days until the shots! Thanks for all of your sweet thoughts and prayers :)